How childhood trauma influence adult relationships
3 min readRelationships advices and childhood influence? We don’t typically think of emotional manipulation as abuse, but it is. When someone intentionally causes an injury to our dignity or emotional integrity, they are abusing you. Emotional abuse most often occurs in the form of threats, shaming, scapegoating and even confinement or driving you to hurt yourself. Whether you were abused or you watched someone else receive physical abuse in your household, it has a damaging effect on your psyche for the longterm and as an adult. This occurs when someone (anyone) who has authority over you uses it to injure you physically, or they use their power and threats of violence to abuse someone you love (like your mother or a sibling). This can includes cuts, bruises, scratches, burns, broken bones and even the loss of consciousness.
Philia is love without romantic attraction and occurs between friends or family members. It occurs when both people share the same values and respect each other — it’s commonly referred to as “brotherly love.” Your mind articulates which friends are on the same wavelength as you and who you can trust. Pragma is a unique bonded love that matures over many years. It’s an everlasting love between a couple that chooses to put equal effort into their relationship. Commitment and dedication are required to reach “Pragma.” Instead of “falling in love,” you are “standing in love” with the partner you want by your side indefinitely. The subconscious drives partners towards each other. This feeling comes unknowingly and feels purposeful.
While your child may still be very young, it’s good to begin teaching small lessons that will help build their independence by the time they are ready to leave home for college. You can help do this by asking your child to do some simple activities that they can do on their own to help with the morning or nightly routine. Ask your child to brush his teeth, or get dressed in the morning, or change into pajamas at night. Remember to give clear and simple directions to help her understand exactly what she needs to do. If he forgets or doesn’t understand what is being asked of him, provide him with positive reinforcement, and explain your instructions again, as patiently as you can. Give them time to do what you ask, and provide them with positive feedback after they complete the task.
According to psychologists, there are five types of love styles. First, the pleaser, who often grows up in a household with an overly protective or angry and critical parent. Second, the victim, who often grows up in a chaotic home with angry or violent parents and tries to be compliant in order to fly under the radar. Third, the controller, who grows up in a home where there wasn’t a lot of protection so s/he has learned to toughen up and take care of themselves. Fourth, the vacillator, who grows up with an unpredictable parent and develop a fear of abandonment. And fifth, the avoider, who grows up in a less affectionate home that values independence and self-sufficiency. See even more details at click here for the article.
As adults we often forget about how impressionable children’s minds can be. They are always watching, replicating, and learning from those around them. In fact, according to Healthline Parenthood, the most crucial milestones in a kid’s life occur by the age of 7. Creating a safe space for a child’s development is as important as providing them food and shelter. When it comes to trauma, there are many different types that can occur. Whether it is physical, sexual, or mental abuse, a prolonged severe illness, witnessing domestic violence, or experiencing intensive bullying, individuals process these events in different ways. As adults, these situations can be difficult to handle but as children, not only is trauma difficult to handle it is hard for children to process.