Relationships tips and childhood trauma influence
3 min readAdult relationships recommendations and childhood influence? What is ACE? If you want to resolve your childhood trauma, you first need to understand it. Trauma can generate some momentous emotions, and unless we learn how to process these emotions, we will continue to repeat the same damaging patters that keep us stuck and hurting. Refusing to face the traumas of our past causes them to fester like a sore; staying in our bodies as unconscious energy that wrecks everything from our employment prospects to our romantic relationships. Childhood trauma is caused by any situation in which a child perceives that they are in an extremely frightening, dangerous or overwhelming position. This can occur either when they themselves feel threatened, or it can occur when they see someone they love struggling, harmed or otherwise belittled, abused or demeaned.
Ludus is a child-like and flirtatious love commonly found in the beginning stages of a relationship (a.k.a. the honeymoon stage). This type of love consists of teasing, playful motives and laughter between two people. Although common in young couples, older couples who strive for this love find a more rewarding relationship. Your emotions allow you to feel giddy, excited, interested and involved with another person. Mania is an obsessive love towards a partner. It leads to unwanted jealousy or possessiveness — known as codependency. Most cases of obsessive love are found in couples with an imbalance of love towards each other. An imbalance of Eros and Ludus is the main cause of Mania. With healthy levels of playful and romantic love, the harm of obsessive love can be avoided.
Research suggests that positive family involvement contributes to a child’s academic success. You are your child’s first teacher, and your child is developing social skills through interactions with you and other family members and friends. Parent-child interactions are the foundation of a child’s social development, and when you are able to provide your child with reasons for your rules and values, they will be more likely to be socially active and open-minded.
Whether you want to believe it or not, your childhood has a big impact on the way you see the world. One influence that it has particularly is in regards to how you interact in your adult relationships. This video discusses specifically romantic relationships – which it refers to as love styles. Love styles are defined here as our tendencies and inclinations of how we respond to our romantic partners. Do any of these childhoods trigger something in you? Watch the video to learn about how each of these types of childhoods can affect your adult romantic relationships. Discover more information at click here for childhood memories affecting relationship.
There are many associated feelings that accompany trauma such as guilt, shame, anxiety, sadness, and more. Every child handles trauma differently, not one person or incident is the same. Children who were once social and outgoing may suddenly not want to play with other children or speak to adults. Another child may appear “clingy” and seek validation from the adults around them to feel more secure. Feeling’s associated with trauma often grow and in turn affect relationships as they progress into adulthood. As previously discussed, our childhood experiences majorly influence our actions and relationships as adults. There are numerous coping mechanisms associated with trauma that alienated the individual from other people in their lives. If an individual experienced abuse, they may be sensitive and fearful that someone may act out in rage – just as they experienced as a child. If an individual witnessed their parents fighting, arguing and in the process of a “messy” divorce, it may affect their ability to have a healthy relationship with a loved one.